


From Dragons to Starlight

by xfm0eshirehc



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: 210130, And cursing!, Blood and Injury/Gore/Violence/:(, Canonical Character Death, Eventual Happy Ending, Final Fantasy XIV - Freeform, Isekai, Minor Character Death, Minor Character(s), Multi, Rated For Violence, Self-Insert, early chapters heavily original content, fe:a plot intercepted, ffxiv inserted lore, first half chapter is not fe:a, hesitant to tag FFXIV fandom, maximum FE:A plot spoilers, minimal FFXIV plot spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29086635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xfm0eshirehc/pseuds/xfm0eshirehc
Summary: A young adult signs up for a risky but rewarding closed beta testing of a virtual remake of a previously well-known MMORPG title. Pixelated death leads this Warrior of Light to walk upon the greener, less industrial tall grass that overlooks the sea, beyond which lies the Halidom of Ylisse. A new life gives way to become what he must. Become... the Warrior of Being Honest and helping others along the way, even if it means challenging fate and staving off dragons' blood.--An isekai within an isekai. A modern self-insert now named Lysus walks in the boots of his MMORPG character while being tossed around in the world and plot of FE:A, both games known to him. Knowledge of FFXIV unneeded. Reference of amaro provided, his mount.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	From Dragons to Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> Fire Emblem: Awakening was released more than 7 years ago, but I was hit by an extreme wave of nostalgia and fell in love again. It remains my favorite, though I've only played it and Shadow Dragon (FE11, Marth's remake). I may be late, but this is my first self-insert fic and FE fic. Please feel free to enjoy my indulgence with me.
> 
> ※Regarding tags: "WoL" is the equivalent of My Unit/Your Character in FFXIV.  
> I will be writing as if readers are familiar with FE:A but not FFXIV!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ※GIF of miniature amaro [here.](https://notarchonzachlol.tumblr.com/post/636937007966437376/amaro-hatchling-400-bicolor-gemstones-crystarium) (not made by me)  
> ※Smaller picture of saddled adult [here.](https://ffxiv.consolegameswiki.com/mediawiki/images/c/c9/Amaro_image.png) (not made by me)  
> 

The last time it was this dark, I was buried under five different blankets, courtesy of my cousins.

A faint light began to glow, washing the shadows in pale greens and blues until settling into letters. Reaching up had let me marvel first my translucent hand then the script laid out.

_Welcome to DesairE, ___

I was drawn to the underscore. Whatever I put here could follow me to the ends of every earthen land I visit. They said this was only a closed beta test, so any progress made would be deleted shortly, but I didn’t want to disappear without a trace either. I wanted fellow testers to recognize the name later, just like I might with theirs. And I too wanted to recognize my progress.

_Welcome to DesairE, Lysus Flarestrom._

I was excited. But was that too dramatic? It should okay. It was a heroic fantasy game.

Formally going through character creation had been surprisingly easy. Granted, everybody had been allowed to create a preset on the company’s regular computers before today, though I’d assumed there would be some details to change when seeing the model up-close. I did fiddle with some things, but DesairE did really good work in translating the quality between the screen and this floating space. It hit me as the body faded into pixels: I was staring at my online self.

The world shifted, and with it my sight.

* * *

Something hit my head. And then again. Rain. I blinked, and a forest surrounded me. Wow. Then I flailed a bit when another droplet nearly slid into my eye from my brow. My hand slapped the closest bark only to recoil from the already receding pain. Wow.

This was incredible. I let held in everything but a gasp, not wanting to disturb the breeze rustling the branches cradling this clearing. There were insects somewhere. I took my first breath, and it smelled like it would snow.

Where were my tears? By this point I should've most definitely started crying, but I guess this body had none to spare. It was so beautiful. I looked up, and I choked at the stars passed the canopy. “No way.”

Was that how I sounded in here? It was only just different enough to tell it as too crisp, but it was still my voice. I let out a shriek muffled by my hands. “No way!” The stars were so overwhelmingly breathtaking… again. I would never talk badly about my old laptop screen, but now as I stood under the constellations of Eorzea, I truly wondered if the other players had already seen a fragment of this on their better screens. Had I played the same game engine? The leaves above continued to shed their droplets, the remnants of a shower.

Wait, did time still move thrice as fast in here? The sky definitely rotated in the past twenty minutes, but not as quickly. Made sense. In that time, I heard nothing out of the ordinary. But it was cold. This was so great. Not the first virtual MMORPG testing to exist, but it was mine and I swore I would marvel about this for the rest of my lifetime. I let out a visible puff of air and forced myself to look away to check myself.

Since it was closed beta, we were all, wherever the rest were, given not-quite-basic gear and equipment. I think this was an alternative to the artifact gear, or a pre-upgraded version? I felt the weight of a lance on my back, but it and my metallic armor neither gave me issues nor tired me. Looking further, my leg and feet pieces definitely interlocked in a sleek pattern. Even the footprints I left behind in the low dirt grass were pointed. Never change, dragoon. Never change.

I made it to the treeline and could see the lights of a settlement up ahead. I wondered how the other beta testers were doing. Did they also load in alone? Maybe it was a feature, like an introductory solo instance to let the players explore a little before unlocking the open world. Hmm. I could try out the combat. I had yet to see anything in the way of an obvious quest indication other than the settlement, so I likely had time.

The lance's weight felt incredibly comfortable. I won’t lie; I’ve swung around wooden flagpoles and sticks trying to copy weapon skill animations before. With some finger motions and pointed intent, as previously instructed, I managed to get the character info menu open after a fifth try. It was... not as intuitive as I had hoped.

DesairE had created presets, but we had been allowed to mix and match some of the job choices for clearer testing. Dragoon. Astrologian. Red Mage, Ninja, Archer, Arcanist... Both combinations of jobs and classes were in here. Mount? Oh hey, the cross-class skills!.

Utterly ignoring the combo requisites for now, I attempt a Chaos Thrust. I started up the movement on my own, but I felt my body finish the seemingly erratic swings as if guided by muscle memory. None of the chaotic cherry blossoms flowed out though. Maybe those assets needed the whole combo finisher to show? But I didn’t want to fight anything yet, and I didn’t want to just go thwack the environment.

I moved onto a spell. The watery glimmer of Esuna washed over me with a chime. I had no debuff to cleanse, but I could minutely feel the MP drain as the light faded back to nothing. Nice.

I only stopped reorganizing skill icons in the floating menu when the sky begin to lighten. The sunrise... I teared up again, except the lack of actual tears meant the scene remained unobstructed by the power of wet eyeballs.

By the Twelve, I won't get over this. I haven’t even gotten over it in real life. "By the Twelve." Even swearing was novel. It wasn't just a cool game reference here. Oh gods, how will the NPCs be?

Now I really needed to get to that settlement. I was about to close the menu, when I paused at the mount icon again. Hm... Maybe later. I wanted to feel the walk.

I wal- Wait.

Never change, dragoon. One Elusive backflipping leap of a Jump test later, I walked the rest of the way down the hill while trying to stifle a grin. I kind of managed, until I saw people and outright just lifted a hand to hide my mouth.

It was a small settlement, with maybe eight or nine wooden houses? Buildings? There were hyurs, the closest to humans, and mi’qote, shorter humanoids with notable cat ears and eyes. It looked like people were already awake and going about their business. Maybe.

I was fully prepared to treat these NPCs as real people, but I had to be ready to accept they could’ve been given repetitive patterns too. I approached a hyur and tried to greet them. "Hello? Excuse me?"

"Hm? You an adventurer? What’s it you need?” An older civilian. I think she was a baker judging by the apron and... uh. Bag of wheat? Flour? There weren’t any blaring pop-ups of dialogue boxes or the like, so I'll assume that’s the norm here.

"Can you tell me where I am? I traveled from the forest." Nervous. I’m so nervous, but it felt cool trying to sound like the confident adventurer I was supposed to be. I smiled?

"The forest? As healthy as you are?" The smile she gave was amused, yet I couldn’t feel offended. "Of course, of course. Darling, you find yourself i-" The earth trembled, and I threw my arms out to regain my balance. "Bloody hells!" I opened my eyes from my extending flinch and looked up to see the woman fleeing. The sky took on a harsher hue. I took my lance and swiveled around. A field, the hill, the darkened trees of the forest in the distance... What?

People were still fleeing behind me, but I saw no threat. "Hey! It’s dangerous! Run!" Someone yelled for me, and I glanced back. Many of the villagers were entering some church-looking large building. Nothing else seemed to be approaching. The sky was stuck with shaded clouds by the red sky. What an eerily dangerous opening quest.

I kept my grip on my lance and started to backpedal, and then turned around to go join the villagers. ...I couldn't pretend I wasn't scared. It was hard not to scramble with them. Everything became so desaturated in color. What was this? "Someone tell me what’s happening please!"

I repeated the request as I saw upwards thirty people in the church. Was this the whole village? A mi’qote approached me, his voice still anxious. "Picked a wrong time to travel. Do you really not know the ixali warhorns?"

Uh... Hm. The familiar term helped calm me. Beast tribes already? This opening introduction was not messing around.

"I’m sorry. I’ve only just been brought here. Can you tell me more? Will everyone be safe?" He gave me an understandably odd look. Passed the fear, I'm sure I loved this. They really were people. Ignoring the part where I was probably more of an enigma to them than whatever threat was on the horizon.

"A road soldier will notice soon enough and tell the nearby sentries. They always come in time, but it’s best to stay in here. It’s safer. You really do not know?"

"Really, it’s true. I’ve just come here from the forest-"

"What?" He was taken aback.

Someone else overheard and yelled, "You led them out!?" I looked over to the addition, but could only notice a few people looking at me with either disgusted disapproval or like I had promised to kill them all.

I turned back to the mi’qote, but he cuts me off, “You need to leave.” Raised a hand to continue even as his brow remains furrowed, but I saw less hate. "Just, go west. Down the right path out these doors. Please. If you truly know not of the ixal, they will follow any scent on the winds. Maybe you can make it to the sentry point yourself."

It occurred to me that, even if this were a game, I didn’t want to argue. Besides, I was the adventurer here. I could leave. They could die.

They could die. My eyes widen, and with a nod I swore I almost hit someone with how fast I turned around to get to the door. "I’ll... I’ll come back! I’ll get help!" Or maybe I could fight them off myself? "Stay safe! Please!"

I left without looking back, sprinting after hearing the door close behind me. There were no signs of the ixal or any other creature, not even a peek of their green feathers or the wolves they used.

My feet hit the dirt road and still I didn’t see signs of anything. Was this correct? My heart pounded in my ears, but I didn’t feel tired. I feared for those villagers. This game felt so real. Please don’t let me fail my first interactions.

"Thank the Twelve!" I breathed out once the tall spires of an outpost came into view. "Sentries! Sentries, help!" I did not stop as I yelled to get some attention. Two helmeted hyurs rose over the small wall. "Help!! The village, they said the ixal are coming!"

I barely got myself to stop before a third person exited a door. "Halt!"

"No!" Please keep listening, "There’s a- there’s a village, settlement? Down that way? Down the hill of the forest? They said soldiers would respond- there are warhorns!" Please do not be late. In the back of my mind, I knew there was a high possibility that the event was meant to be this tense, but... Please, I didn’t care. I hoped these soldiers would read my urgency as something genuine and not whatever metagaming could look like. Something seemed to work.

The maybe-captain whistled and quickly spoke to some others, and then the door opens again. Four people in armored scale and cloth, with the captain in hide and a bow, grabbed their horses. “Quickly!” He gave me a nod, and then rode ahead with his contingent. One sentry stayed behind. Reasonable...

I stood there catching my breath. Did I even need to breathe this heavily? Wait, they were going. I had to help. I wanted to. I didn’t know if it mattered, but I turned my back to the sentry's spire and fumbled with opening the menu. Mount!

I could never have prepared for how my mount landed next to me. Nor the fact that it... was not a chocobo.

“Amaro!?” As past players called them, the Goodest!? Green-feathered, a darker wooded shade than the ixal's, with two sets of wings, though the second were much smaller. It looked like a cross between a dinosaur and a camel. Its chin and under feathers, coupled with its natural hues, made it look like a willow tree. In the regular old game, they were unlocked from the feat of leveling every single combat job to level cap, and they were barely taller than their partners. In here, I could feel the breadth of its wingspan and deep breathing. I’ve only stood next to horses maybe twice in my life, and even those were the closest I could think of to compare.

My mount huffed at me and looked down the path and the disappearing horses. No other words could describe my flail, "Right! I’m sorry for jostling you!" I scream my apology as I let my faux muscle memory handle mounting up and asking it to go. Joyously, it does go running. Admittedly, I was okay with not testing flying right now. Speed was everything for a mount, and flying should’ve been faster, but I was sure I was nervous enough to get thrown off the Very Much Not a Computer Chair right now. 

I did catch up to the soldiers, just in time to make it back to... whatever this place was called. Nothing seemed to have occurred yet, to my relief. Maybe it truly was a condition-activated event. I'll not let myself feel embarrassed for the rush. Now that we were here thoug-

Warhorns bellowed, a wave of a deep howl rolling down the hill I had descended what felt like hours ago.

“To arms!” The captain yelled.

Dismounting was easier, and while the others’ horses backed up, my amaro stayed by me. Would it fight with me like a chocobo would? I smiled at it. Its four wings flare, and I look back ahead of me.

A band of ixal descended from the forest, charging with their curved blades and paired wolves. I forced myself to be calm in the face of the impending clash; I was an adventurer here. I would help turn the tide.

* * *

The sun started its sunfallen journey just as I pierced the last of the ixal. There was blood, but it and the rest of the bodies burnt away for the most part, leaving behind only some bone and the remnants of their armor. The few stains coloring my lance’s shaft also soon evaporated into, assumedly, the aether. I was not sweating, but I knew I should’ve been. I knew I didn’t need to breathe heavily, but it made sense to.

I had mainly stuck with my basic attacks and a single healing spell. My lance had guided me easily. I hesitate to call it a dance, but a lot of the steps and swings had felt choreographed for sure. I did execute a jumping technique when I had needed to cover one of the sentries, but something about the thrill of it had stayed distant, almost disconnected. I looked around for him. Everyone had taken a beating, but the worst of us would luckily only be sore for a few nights, if that.

Something felt strange. Watching the NPCs, I wanted to nod and move along to let them handle themselves. In the end, I spoke up, "The villagers are in the church. I’ll go check on them." I bowed and didn’t see the captain’s response before setting off in a jog. My amaro followed and made a clicking noise. I never deluded myself into thinking I was good with animals, but I still gave my amaro a pat for a job well done.

"Hey! I returned with the sentries!" I yelled at the door. I didn’t get any response. With a frown, "Hello?"

If I had my keyboard, I probably would’ve needed to interact with an object or use an emote... So I pushed at the door. "Hel- Huh?" It wasn’t even locked.

It wasn’t locked. Immediately, I gripped my lance and swallowed my trepidation. I considered announcing myself, but instead opted to charge in. The door swung roughly and I cleared the doorway, but to my confusion there were three people, all of whom turned to face me, including the mi’qote from earlier. He perked up with the others I don’t immediately recognize, another mi’qote and a hyur. "You came back! Is it safe?"

I kept my stance's footing, but I relaxed with relief too. "The sentries took care of the ixal, so you’re all safe now... Where is everybody?"

"We’ve heard nothing from outside. But if it is true," The hyur answered, a quieter man. "then you have our thanks. There’s a trap door, you see..."

Hiding under the church sounded like a pretty good idea. I finally lifted my lance and let its butt rest against the floor. My smile came easily. "That’s a relief. I thought something happened to everyone, but when I saw you three without panic..."

"We are uninjured." The mi'qote smiles. "I am glad your arrival was merely a coincidence and not a heralding."

…Oh. Heh. Silly condition-activated events. I tried to hide my momentary guilt with a nervous sniff. "It’s, um. I still don’t know much. Like this place’s name?" Now that I could pay attention, I didn’t even know to whom this church was dedicated. I didn’t see a sigil of The Twelve.

"Of course. You stand in a Holy Ground to Midgardsormr, Father of Dragons and Guardian of the Seven Brood. Our village lies just south of the Slate Mountains." Wait, what? I couldn’t hide my shock, but I tried to alleviate the odd looks I was getting again.

"S-so we are in Coerthas... Would it be too drastic of a story to mention I had amnesia?" Cheap, I know, and I prayed my apologies were enough.

The three gave each other meaningful looks, but they bore neither hate nor too much suspicion, and that was all I could ask for. They whispered to each other, so I patiently looked to the mural behind them. What I had thought was the brick's coloring, I could see as a spiral now. The lady mi’qote took back my attention with a warm smile. "We are thankful all the more. If you need to stay until you feel comfortable to travel again, know that you can stay here."

I returned it. "Thank you! Please, maybe one night will be enough. Oh! The sentries are still outside. I’m going to go check on them, okay?" I bowed and exited quickly, and my amaro followed once I left the wooden floorboards. That should give them time to consider some other things, maybe get those villagers back out of the basement too.

The sentries were mounting their horses, already recovered from the fight. Without his bulky hat, I could see the captain as an elezen: taller than a hyur and with pointed ears. He gave me a nod from atop his steed. "On behalf of House Bonfaurt, I wish to share my and my men’s gratitude for the help. Our strength would have been enough, but I will not deny it went far smoother."

I grinned. "I am glad! And they’re still in there, safe and sound, the villagers I mean. Is, um, is there anything else you need?"

"That will be unnecessary. Though should there be any more trouble, our outpost remains vigil. Travel softly." I filed away the glance to my lance and amaro, and then watched them head off. I wondered if I would’ve gotten looks if I had wielded a different weapon, was a different class. Variant dialogues were always cool.

My amaro huffed at me again, and I raised my brow at it. Hmm. One hand petting, one hand opening the menu. "You’re a she?" The incredulity I received was too real. She was the same level as I and had some basic attack skills. Not a slowing kick like a chocobo would have, but a heavy bodily slam all the same. Neat.

My own stats were on display too, though I didn’t have a proper scale or calculation to base them from. I couldn’t even be certain if my spells worked off the same attribute as my attacks. It had been difficult paying attention during my first combat, but the potency of the single Physick I had cast had healed plenty in my opinion. It could’ve been due to my magic numbers being pretty close to my strength in any case.

Maybe nice mobility and evasion. Did this physical defense seem low for a dragoon? Shouldn’t it be much higher than the magical defense? Was it the armor? Hm. I let the menu close for good. I'll test more of it later. Petting done as well, I turned back toward the church and let my thoughts drift to their faith.

Midgardsormr... A long-winding dragon, a true dragon who, in the non-virtual version of the game, had broken his life to fend off an invasion. His other name could be translated as a river dragon, which made sense when thinking of the sanctuary he drowned his adversaries in by wrapping and crushing them like a great world serpent. Some of his children were trouble though. 'Tomorrow,' I'll explore more on the matter.

I hadn't seen anyone exit the church, so I went to open the door while calling out, "Hey! They've left-"

An eye.

An open rift, and a colourless eye.

Panic squeezes my throat shut before I could scream, and I only managed to grip my lance when my amaro’s screech moves me. It blinked, languid like a dragged corpse, but I still couldn't move in all that time. When it opened again, it revealed two empty eye sockets that stared out from the violet void. Faintly then, in the murky shade, the silhouette of six-

I lose my breath. It leaves me, unbidden, as something heavy runs into my back. A clear thought congratulates me for keeping my balance, and I’m so shocked that I stiffly look away from the vacuum.

I couldn’t see who was behind me, but I felt warm. My whole body was warming up- no, it was freezing. It was both as I felt terror drain out with my blood. At some point, I notice the wooden floors here had no temperature against my cheek.

I was dying? _Feel_

I was killed? _Think_

I felt heavy. I wasn't tired, but my eyes had closed. _Hear_

It was hard to listen passed the fog and whispers. _Speak_

"Yes, my lord." Who puts a scripted death in the prologue? "We revel upon your rage."

_Sleep_

_Sleep_

_Sleep on._

Something nudged me. Sense and thought rolled in, and I felt the light before seeing its glow from behind my eyelids. It had to have been sunlight. The unmistakable coziness. How did they manage to capture this virtually? My limbs were heavy as I rolled over the grass. Grass?

Spluttering when something even warmer nudged me yet again, this time in the face, I flailed into the whatever when I didn't recognize the fake fur of a stuffed animal.

Two beady eyes stared at me- my amaro? There was clicking and other amaro noises once it- once she knew I couldn’t ignore her anymore. "Hi..."

Only to cough. I tried to swallow to stop the fit. My throat was so dry! I forced myself up with the sun still in my eyes, everything groaning with the soft clinking of metal. One hand kept me propped while I raised the other, the glint of the guard covering the back of my hand shadowed away.

I felt everything. My sore limbs, the pressure around my head that I now knew to be my bandana-or-something head gear, the sweat I was surely feeling from having laid under the sun, the musk of the fresh grass all around me- or was that my amaro? Her indignant clicking made me realize I must’ve been giving her an odd stare.

Where... A field this time? "Stop- stop! I’m okay!" My amaro backed off just enough. Her saddle looked fuller than before, with an actual sack hanging off the one side and a secured pack. She shifted some steps to let me reach for the waterskin like I’ve done it before.

I almost choked. The cold relief from just the one gulp was overwhelming. It didn’t have any business feeling this real. I took a breath and forced myself to drink a little more while I stared at my amaro again.

Maybe it was because I had been busy fighting, but I only now noticed how clear her feathers looked, mottled but well-kept down to the vane. She bumped my knee, so I pat her neck only to then marvel at my arm. I wore fingerless gloves up to my elbows, both covered by a two-piece vambrace that guarded the back of my hand and arm without impeding my wrist. It was the same as I had worn earlier, but now I could feel and hear the leather creasing with my fingers. Or was it cloth? Then there were her feathers! They were so coarse!

"What an inconsistent beta." I filed that away with the rest of my review, and tried to look over myself without yet moving. Wait. Was it just my gloves and headband that was the same?

The rest of my armor, or what I could see, had me sporting a right-sided combination of draping mail and fantasy leather over knee-high pointed boots more hide than metal. Maybe. I didn’t know much about materials. I also was of the thought that my leggings would keep neither heat nor cold very well. At least it was cloth, thick as it felt. I didn’t want to learn if they made chafing exist here. Then came my lance, sitting there in the grass beside me. Every bit of it was weighted, smithed rather than carved, and its blade was curved for a heavy cleave rather than a jabbing thrust. Notably, the concave side wasn't entirely dull. There was a small blue cord tied like a ribbon between the blade and the shaft for a touch of color.

I gave my amaro a final pat and then shoved myself up, needlessly wary for a numb leg. I returned the waterskin to its pouch even though I wanted more, and my eyes drifted to the pack nestled in the nook of her saddle... piece... thing. Huh. Two lamps had been fitted to each side against the end of the leather saddle, just short of covering her butt and feathery tail. There were also two sticks of wood holstered to the other side proper, her right, that had been hidden by her height. One had a spiraled tip, shorter, while the other looked like a smooth branch. A cane and a stick. Just a stick.

I looked at the pack again. It was a proper bag. The clearing was as good as any of a place, so I undid the thin straps and took, presumably, what was mine and sat back down carefully.

Instead of combat-only items, I found a pale yellow blanket- that fluffy kind I only knew modern baby blankets to be if I had to compare- and a tabletop’s worth of trinkets. Useful trinkets though. There was a leather-bound journal and a dusted slate, paired with sticks of charcoal and chalk wrapped in some thin cloth. A different scrap of cloth revealed a pair of cleaned, white claws of something. A pouch of gil! A lot of gil? The coins were emblazoned with a fancy G instead of Nymeia’s face, but it was of the same color and undoubtedly money. Now whether I was thirty something poor or three thousand... less poor.

I could go ask a merchant. Or, I could open the inventory menu. The novelty of checking by hand wore off quickly once I thought about embarrassing myself to a few NPCs. I opened my menu.

I said menu. Hello? "Menu?" Not this again. It took me five times the first time! Menu?

I was on my feet, ignoring the innocent collapse of my pack. Menu! I felt nothing, no pull of the transparent HUD materializing from between the aether. No glorious tinkling alert sounds other than my gaiters clicking together. Why wasn’t it working? I could understand failing a third time, but I must’ve been slapping the air by now.

Fear and dread. "Hello?" There was a response, but it was only my amaro when I almost whipped my neck off to look at her. She looked at me expectantly. I looked back with receding panic.

Okay... The menu wasn’t working. So I couldn’t leave. I had died. There must have been a malfunction. I considered- No. I felt such a resounding finality: I wasn’t allowed to die on purpose. It was the most comforting, unerring decision I’ve made yet, and I welcomed the shock of it.

Take stock. Find a place. Stick around. That’s all I could do. I could do that. An adventurer and his amaro. We could do that.

I sat back down, hyperaware of the noises and the breeze now wafting through the clearing. The pack had its main body and then two side pockets, all of which opened and closed by pulling or loosening the string. At the bottom of the bag was a spare set of very basic cotton clothes. A sleeved tunic many sizes too big, pants, briefs? There was also a flexible tighter undershirt- Ah. The detail of this was kind of misplaced in the face of a broken menu, but I’ll take it. I wasn’t in any position right now to challenge how they allocated their assets.

I did my best to fold it all back without letting any touch the dirt. It was then that two vials rolled out from something’s fold. Deep red liquid filled both, sealed by a cork. They were easy to pick up.

"Health potions? Shouldn’t these be kept closer?"

Not that I had any space closer, I realized. I didn’t have any pockets that could cushion them, assuming they’d break like regular glass. They went back into the bag, in a less hidden spot. Unfortunately, there hadn't been in flasks of oil either.

I held the journal. I must’ve been anticipating something. Information? A map? A diary written by something? By my character, from a scripted prologue? I undid the string.

The journal was front-loaded, literally. The leather binding actually held a compartment, and once opened revealed the sleeve holding a deck of cards. They were too large to be playing cards, and I recognized the back designs. Removing them, I held in my hands what could have been tarot cards to the unknowledgeable: beautifully drawn astrologian cards that showcased three sets of six major arcana and two minor arcana. Astrology was one thing, while astrologians were the versatile buffers in the game. When I had seen my class list earlier, I had wondered how I would switch between them. I didn’t have the astrolabe weapon, but these cards gave me some relief.

I slid them back into the sleeve and lifted the pages to flip them from the back. It seemed to be parchment, not paper, slightly yellowed and empty until I got to the beginning, upon which I stared.

I noticed the Eorzean alphabet first. It was written in black, by the stick of charcoal I’d wager. Useful. But above it, there was another script that I didn’t immediately recognize though it was familiar all the same. It consisted of small dots and lines, sometimes a rounded stroke. It lined up with the other alphabet, so likely it worked like an alphabet too. The journal held nothing else of note.

A thought came to me. An experiment. I grabbed the stick of charcoal and started writing. Underneath both alphabets, I wrote in upper case the English alphabet. The lettering stuck. I wrote Lysus is Eorzean and then the other script. I was writing in an actual journal with an actual stick of charcoal...

My excitement caved into a frown. Right, this predicament. I had thoughts, but... My amaro, either having heard my sigh or some other amaro reasons, cooed at me.

"I should name you." She rose her neck. "Fethrblaka?" I must’ve been thinking of my teenage years and birds and stars because I blurted next, "Rallis." She looked like she wanted to tackle me. Mounts didn’t need two names, but I went with my gut. "Rallis Fethrblaka. And I’m Lysus Flarestrom." Oh gods, the L’s and R’s and S’s and F’s.

I wrote it in to the journal anyway, closed it, and returned everything into the bag and re-secured it. A quick glance into the side pockets showed a thick brush and a bundle of some straw or something. "Let's go Rallis-" Oof! Tackled by an amaro. What a way to go. "I'm glad you like it. I think. I hope?"

I found a road not too far from the fields and stuck to it. I considered riding Rallis, but I figured it'd be easier talking to people at eye level. There hadn't been anyone though. No idle things to fight either. Not even a sentient tree. It must've been less than an hour before I was feeling too warm under my armor. The fair weather didn't make me sweat quickly, but the discomfort was building. Speaking of which, sweat existed. I had to toss out tracking the time to stop the seconds from dragging out, and that was when I saw a blessed sight: a wooden signpost at a crossroads.

"Oh thank the gods." We're not alone and this isn't a desolate blank area with only repeating dirt and grass. Of course I ran. I heard Rallis pummeling the ground behind me.

Only to flare her wings at me for turning on her to reach for my bag. "Sorry, sorry." I shouldn't have buried the journal. The sign was unreadable, but I had recognized the script. "They're really making me learn a whole writing system here..." I smiled. I actually did like lingual things and basic unhidden ciphers. The world may not have given me literacy, but I could appreciate the tools it's provided to learn. Most players would hate this though.

"R-O-B-R-A-H and T-E-L-M-A-H?" Robrah to the left, and Telmah to the right. Both were new names. Assuming that the sun worked the same, and this could be a hard assumption here, then that would be north-ish and south-ish respectively. The place I had first woken up before the ixali attack had been south of the mountains. The mountains here however were behind me. Maybe my skyward compass was wrong?

I propped my lance against my shoulder and then did a twirl with my eyes closed. "May I be guided by the whims... of... Fate!"

Ridiculous. We went south-ish.

It took some more time, but I let out a cheer once we crested a hill. Many particularly manmade somethings were in the distance. I wanted to cry. I might've if I could, though my reverie stalled when a plume of smoke marred my periphery. Off the path down the hill, I squinted and saw wagons? Alarm shot through me when I saw people moving around. "Rallis!" Mounting was smoother this time, but I still held off on flight. Charging would have to be enough.

A wagon ready to catch fire from an accident, or a wagon being set ablaze by bandits. Which was more likely? I could see weapons being brandished all threatening-like. My lance slid into my hand deftly, one hand still steering the reigns. "Let them go!" I announced myself. The closest fool turned away from the wagon people, wearing barely any furs, and I let Rallis' charge carry my lance.

I nearly let it go. The impact, the weight, I felt my wrist almost bend until I tensed my arm and pushed forward. Blood painted the floor as the nameless body collapsed from the deep, still running gash. I blanched in horror. I almost lost my hand. What were these physics? That man died so realistically. What were these death animations?

All it took was that one crumpling instant before the rest of them looked my way. I could only push forward. Why was my breathing so shallow? I had it under control just earlier today! Separately, I knew I had to dismount before I could attack. But when I tried to, Rallis moved and I tightened myself against her. She dodged an arrow deftly, and then again, and then a sword swung at us and all I could do was block it, the weight of it pushing into me at a painful angle.

Leaving Rallis was no longer an option if I wanted both of us to stay intact. Fortunately, the game did not stop me from shoving the bandit back. I was spit at for it. "Trying to be a hero!?"

I wanted to banter, but my breath was so uneven. Why was this time so intense? "Hragh!" I let go of the reigns to leverage my lance better, maneuvering it under and slashing upward. More blood fell, and I felt the spray this time. I couldn't tell if he was dead, but Rallis moved again and I had to deal with the next sword.

I got distracted. The sword hadn't managed to draw blood, but getting clubbed by an edged iron brick hurt too. It hurt so much, I couldn't even finish the thought of having not executed a single weapon attack this entire time.

"Agh, damn-!"

I didn't even have it in me to follow-up. I would've backed out, physically backed off, but some part of me knew to stay on Rallis. The epitome of a blaring warning to STAY MOUNTED. Don't scramble. If it weren't for Rallis turning around to tackle the man to the ground, I...

The pain started to dull, and in the flurry of it all I brought my lance over to pierce the man. I didn't want to die again. The pain this time was so much worse. I didn't want to hurt again. Rallis shifted and turned to the archer remaining. The look of fury and horror...

I didn't know what was hit, but Rallis screeched in pain. Yet despite it, she started a headlong leap just as I screamed, "No! How dare you!"

I focused on the archer's body. I concentrated only on striking her down. Not her expression, not her desperate nock, not the smoldering and quiet behind me. When my lance met resistance, I continued to slide it forward until I could see the blade again, red pooling to the edge.

Rallis stopped, and I threw myself to the side onto my feet. Or tried- My legs couldn't hold my weight. They had been straining. The so-near memory of bringing my lance down on the grounded brigand surged to me, and I scrambled to at least a crouch, my lance pointed out as I turned around. Four bodies, and five people peeking out from behind the remaining, undamaged wagon. I felt both exhausted and ready for more. I looked down at the bodies.

None of them had disappeared. They just remained, bleeding out with weapons strewn nearby. And when the crimson smell finally hit me, I heaved and fell properly out of my crouch.

The worst of it was the worried cooing. "Rallis!" She had been hurt. Where!? I looked around her feet. No blood. Oh thank gods. Thank the Twelve. But where was the inju-

"E-excuse me? Miss? Sir? Rider?" An unthreatening, timid voice. It took a moment to backtrack and understand, by which point I was already looking at a boy no older than my kid cousin. "Th-thank-"

"Is it safe for you to walk out?" I couldn't help but yell. "What if there are more hiding around?" I forced myself up from my own fear. I couldn't tell if there _weren't_ enemies nearby. I had nothing like a compass map. The boy flinched, from my words or my tone I couldn't tell. I couldn't trust myself to reign in my harsh bite, so I looked away. The trees by the road were sparse and easy to look through, and I felt my own relief finally winning over when I only saw an unattended horse. The damaged wagon had even stopped smoking. I relaxed my lance. It weighed heavily.

For his worth, he did run back. Rallis nudged my shoulder, sensing no others, so I pat her and went over to the wagon. "...It's safe now. Sorry. You can never be too careful." I gave up with my tone, but the rest of the caravan didn't seem to care, all starting to stand. That boy from earlier was the youngest, and with him were three women, one obviously an elder, and a man who spoke to me from a bow.

"Thank you, rider! Had you not appeared as you did... Please, if there is anything we could do for you?" More than the words, it was the sincerity that reached me. It cut through the bile building up, like the flat of a blade paddling through the swathe of nerves bubbling and lingering.

"P-please rise, I only wanted to help- Wait! Do you have any bandages? I think R- my amaro was hurt, but I've run out?" I forced something out. "And where are we- were you headed?"

"Oh, we have plenty to spare! Allow me."

One of the women moved, taking the boy with her and I heard stuff being rummaged while the man answered. "The hamlet, you can even see it from here. I can’t believe these damned brigand curs came this close."

"They’re cowards taking advantage of the western fighting, dear. We can’t let them get to us, or they’ll win even when dead."

"There’s a battle?" I asked them. "I’m not really... I just came from the western fields. I’m not good with remembering a map." Bless their hearts for not looking too oddly at me. I gave them my full attention.

"In that case, even farther west. No one ever means Wyvern Valley, if you and your friend came from near there. She means further, passed the mountains. Ever since the Valmese began sweeping south, it’s been driving everyone into a panic! We were hoping to trade our supplies and for them to have enough space for us, but then... Well, you saved us."

I stared. Wyvern Valley sounded like a Dravanian name. Or more like a Coerthan name given to a place in Dravania. I could deal with that. But did I hear the Valmese? "I’m sorry. I saw a sign, and it said Telmah was this way?" At the confused look, “T-E-L-M-A-H? Telmah?"

The woman’s- the wife?- brow raised as she recognized something. "Oh! Was the sign backwards? It sounds like Telmah should be Hamlet." She was trying to be polite. I appreciated it.

"...Maybe I am still learning how to read." I admitted it, trying to sound shy. I’ll take the pity. It helped curb my dawning, horrible yet fascinating theory. "So the Valmese... are headed for Chon’sin...?" I didn’t know how to feel about their respective gritted teeth and downcast affirmation. My hopes didn’t die, but I felt both the plummet and the soar.

"Damn them for breaking the peace..."

"Dear..."

By the gods. I shook out my legs, letting the silence carry my mulling. By the Twelve and seven dragons. Just in time to be prodded by the boy again, "Excuse me? Here are the bandages... Ma said you can keep them all."

This time, I smiled at him. "Thank you." I kept that smile and looked to the adults. "Can I join you to the hamlet? I can help move what I can between your wagons after treating my amaro. Please trust me when I say it’ll help me just as much."

"If you are sure, you would be welcome. We couldn’t very well push aside our savior!"

I thanked them again and let them start their preparations. I felt I was the only one conscious of ignoring the death staining the dirt.

I swore Rallis fluffed her feathers happily once I finally turned to her. She showed me her leg, and as my hands moved with their own experience to dress the graze, I made my second unerring decision: I would not panic until I learned more. Was this a crossover event? Was this another world? Were any of the other players here? If I were stabbed, would I die like these other people? Were these truly people of the world and not NPCs that would disappear after the timed event?

Rallis cooed. "I’m sorry." A few tear stains wouldn’t ruin a wrapping, right? My parents, my cousins, my... This body could cry now. I stood and shoved the rest of the roll into the bag. And then I faced the dead.

Without another word, I went to the archer, the closest, and dragged her body off into the grass. I didn’t know how the dead were taken care of here, but I refused to let them all remain so carelessly. I wouldn’t want to be. But that was all I could afford. I faced their clothes, and the four were soon piled. The scent was burned into me. I turned before their faces would be too. I apologized to... I apologized. Their horror and last curses, I dared not carry the burden. It felt too real. They may have just been pixels.

I may have just killed four people.

With a borrowed strength, whose price nor terms I knew neither of. Yet? Riding just under the devastation was some perverse anticipation, I was sure.

I helped with the last crate by the time I swallowed my wallowing, and let them lead on to Sage's Hamlet.

**Author's Note:**

> un-beta'd; feel free to advise about tagging and typos


End file.
